Member-only story
The Trap of Perfectionism and My Healing Journey
A 4.0 life
“This wasn’t your best work, and honestly, I’m surprised by that.” My professor calmly told me.
“You don’t understand, I’m about to graduate, and I’ve had a 4.0 this whole time!”
The tears were streaming down my face as I lost all composure and professionalism. It was my last class required to graduate, and I failed my first paper. Psychopharmacology was kicking my ass.
When I was working on my Master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, my life felt like a constant disaster. I would become so consumed by school and work that other aspects of my life fell by the wayside. However, I was good at being a perfect student, or so I thought.
School was my thing, and I had to be the best. There was no room for errors.
“Perfectionism is internalized oppression.”- Gloria Steinem
Psychopharmacology was no exception, I had failed my paper, and I was going to earn my first “B,” despite all my efforts.
I e-mailed my professor, desperately asking for anything to get my grade up. If it were an extra credit paper I had to complete in one day, I would do it. I would go to any lengths not to let one shitty paper ruin my perfect grad school career.
